Kids can be unpredictable. This week they’ll only eat hot dogs, next week they want to try sushi. With the constantly-changing whims, it’s not a big surprise when they bring up the idea of changing the custody agreement.
On the one hand, you and your ex took a lot of time to come to an agreement that would work for both of you. And while there may be days that you would prefer a modification here or there, it’s something that you’ve at least adapted to. Now that the kids want to change things up, you have to wonder if this is a feeling that will pass.
Here’s what you’ll want to think about if your kids are asking to change the custody arrangements.
They may have been young
First, consider how old your children were when everything was settled in the first place. If they were a lot younger, they may be thinking about the current arrangements and how they were left out of the original agreement.
Age can change a lot of thoughts when it comes to family relationships. Consider that your child may be going through a period in their life and looking for a change in the support that they need.
Be sure to ask your children what has changed to make them want to change things. There could be issues that can be resolved without a change to the custody order, or there might be something going on that they simply don’t know how to deal with.
Often children rush to the most extreme solution without considering options that are less invasive. Help them think about what the real issue is and some other solutions. It’s possible that your children are right and that a change is the best option, but you’ll never know until you get to the bottom of why they asked in the first place.
Don’t dismiss the question
While it may be tempting to toss this suggestion aside just like when your child wanted to grow up to be a puppy, it’s still something that you will want to talk to them about.
Unless the topic was brought up in one of those heated teenage-rebellion moments, consider that there was an amount of courage that it took for your child to bring up this subject. While there are a lot of things that your children don’t understand about your divorce, they, very likely, understand that it can be a difficult thing for you to deal with as well.